Tag Archives: writing

Time to Write Your Own Reality Check, Dear Storyteller.

13 Feb

Following someone else “Writing-Routine” isn’t going to magically fill the gaps in the story or book you’re writing.

Your experiences is what color your novel, and there’s a guarantee that no one in the world will understand your story better than you.

The answers to your problems, why it might seem unbearable to write because your writer’s block is so horrible, is in yourself.

You know what you’re going through.

If you’re anything like me, you’re great at giving other people advice. Your passion seems to be catching, and you have the habit of accidentally inspiring friends to take action while you’re talking of your own dreams. You seem to be able to inspire them, that it seems they are ruthlessly pursuing their passions. You seem to be able to talk down their dreams, to earth, to the possible plane.

You start to wonder, if you’re able to inspire people so well, to solve their own problems of self-esteem, or their “can’t-do-attitudes” why the hell are you so listless? Why are you so little motivated to move the mountains required to conquer your own dreams?

It’s you.

It’s your problem. Maybe it’s a fear of success, maybe it’s the fear or rejection, maybe it’s not fear at all, but your own complacency of failure. Instead of psychoanalyzing the people around you, seeing into their souls to see their problems… maybe it’s time for a little self-reflection.

After all, you’re the only person in the world who you can be sure is actually being honest with you, which makes great character fodder.

Look to yourself, Find out your fears, your creative blocks, and what you believe you can actually achieve and move from there.

As a writer, as a creator of worlds, you literally can shape mountains if you so please, so why in the hell are you not writing? Why in the hell can’t you finish that book? Why in the hell are you worrying so much about what happens after the book is completed rather than writing the book.

You’re a dreamer, all good storytellers are… I’m not saying deny your nature. Harvest it. If you can dream of the rewards of being an wonderfully illustrious writer… you can certainly dream up a book, with conflict, character motivation, and either a resolution or new beginning for an end.

You became, or decided you were a writer for a reason.

Maybe it was because you always enjoyed reading or being told stories as a little kid… maybe you found the nature of self-reflection calming. Maybe you wrote because you had to. It was a way to escape your little reality, and now you want to share it with the world.

Whatever your original reason was, you’ve certainly forgotten it. If you’re still looking at “successful” writers to solve your problems.

Figure it out, the you that you were, is most certainly apart of the you that you are now. The you that is having problems finding the passion, most certainly can take a page out of the book of the former you that wrote for hours, tirelessly.

Introduce the Passionate You, and the slightly-bitter-having-problems-finding-that-fire You, and let them affect each other. Let the one with their boots planted firm into the ground, reach and connect with the one in the clouds, and together allow them to make your story, the reason why you started writing, the story that you have been born to tell, rain down upon the world.

It’s that simple.

You’ve lost passion, right? Find it. You’re lost in your own story? Give yourself directions. You’re having problems with ending your story? End it, all good things come to an end, and I guarantee, that your story that’s changed you over the course of writing is good enough. Some things aren’t meant to be resolved and that’s the nature of the beast. Put a bandaid over it, and carry on.

Advertisements
Link

Turning My Back on the Writer’s Technological Revolution

18 May

I’m a writer. I’ve been seriously pursuing a writing career for 10 years, since I was 10. Since I was a little precocious girl, I’ve been doing research for my future career, which has led me to following the change from physically writing things out to digital.

Since I started writing at 4, I was doing research starting 1996, which meant just early enough to see the rise of computers, and the beginning of people outside of business men, carrying around laptops.

In the past, I’ve used, when writing, many well-thought out, and good programs:  ywriter5, Scrivener, q10 and many others.

I’ve enjoyed them, I’ve enjoyed the organization that they’ve brought to my notes, the weird motivation that having a timer and goal obvious in your word processor gives, and I sincerely believed that I was going to successfully finish my books in them.

I’ve believed and trusted in all of these programs created by writers, or for writers, that they would provide me the tools that were necessary to write.

But I’ve realized something, I don’t need any of these fancy tools to write, most especially if I’m writing wireless (that’s without the laptop, but with the all purpose pen and paper). I’m going wireless, only second drafts will ever reach the computer.

I’m not saying that writing digitally has stopped me from successful writing well, I’m just saying, I think that lately it’s been hampering my development toward plot work, well-rounded characters and getting things done.

I’ve tried every single type of digital writing that you can use, and for the developer’s of these programs I have the utmost respect, but, there is no good way to plot, plan, outline, or organize in the digital format.

I’ve finally seen the light and realized why I’m having such trouble finishing my stories, unlike I did when when I was younger and writing away in my notebooks.

The problem with doing things on the computer, is that there is a limit to what you can do on it. You are bound, when planning by the width of the screen, by the terribleness of trying to draw diagrams in paint (which I’m actually really good at), of not being able to rip apart pieces of paper and past them back on, and whether or not you have a power source, eventually. And even with Microsoft Word/Open Office’s track changes format, it’s a poor substitute for writing in the margins, crossing things out angrily, and drawing arrows when editing to move entire chunks to different sections of the book.

I’m going wireless, save for blogging, for my writing of first drafts from now on.

Forget about all of the advice I’ve been reading, hearing and following. I truly believe that the only way to get stuff down, most especially when plotting things out, is to write it all down, and have the freedom to draw obnoxious diagrams that remind you of things, or helps you keep the tension up.

Truly,♥Aspiringtobesomeone

Be you, write like you, and only what you would.

15 Jul

Now, I know that it isn’t wednesday. (which is when I decided I would post about writing, even though I haven’t) But I feel like talking about writing.

Most writers give aspiring authors or writers the advice to “write everyday” or “establish a writing routine” and if you’re like me, you write sporadically at best. (This blog is proof enough of my habits) So this advice, you might try and try to follow, but as you know your personality flaws are as overpowering as a Hurricane on a fishing boat.

Don’t sweat it.

Just because so and so’s routine happens to be consistent or proved to be successful in their case, doesn’t mean it’s the only way.

My primary idea here, is to realize your passion for writing or whatever you want to achieve, and eventually you’ll find a way to make it happen no matter what tries to get in your way.

I happen to like Nanowrimo (National Novel Writing Month in November), if simply because it motivates me to do things in a time that I never thought possible. Write, Start and Finish a Novel in 30 days.

My Last November I could not find a time that was consistently there to write… Heck I couldn’t even have a specific day or anything to write on.

I was a Highschool Senior with 2 A.P. honor classes, Debate, Many art classes and all their obligations (I’m pretty sure that sophmore registration night was in November… where I spent 9 hours  in one night printing T-Shirts for the soon-to-sophmores). I also had many Birthdays, Thanksgiving, and helped plan for and teach elementary kids art after school… with the End of term coming, with tests and papers and all that lovely stuff. While babysitting on weekday afternoons and weekend mornings.

Also I couldn’t write really for the first week and then the last couple days because I was motivated and I really, really, really, wanted to finish… I wrote near 20,000 in 4 days. I don’t know about you but for a novel I only started that month… that was a lot of writing.

I had basically told myself that there was no way that I’d ever be able to be a professional writer if I couldn’t spurt out 40,000 words on a new novel in a month. Which may or may not be true. But the point is, I really proved to myself that I could do it. That I could write not only decent stuff in a limited time… but I sure as hell could write a ton too.

Stop depending upon others to tell you whether not you have a shot at this. There’s a whole world out there waiting to hear what you’d like to tell them. They want to know you, know your voice, your theories and opinions and to learn from you.

You don’t need Stephen King’s advice on writing, you don’t need to emulate Hemingway, you don’t need to have Stephanie Meyer’s haircut neither. The world has already seen Stephen King, Hemingway and Stephanie Meyer and they’re satisfied with it. They don’t want or need another one of them. But what they need, and what they won’t have if you take everything you read to heart, is one of you.

The world has given you a shot by allowing yourself to be born. If you take what you have to offer and serve it up, there will be someone waiting there to take it, and enjoy it.

You won’t be loved by everyone (If you don’t believe me, look at politics to view people’s complex and disagreeing opinions). You may not sell enough that you can live off of it. Your vision may be ultimately missed. However, you will have gotten it out there.

So here’s my advice: Be you, write like you, write when you would, and only write those things in which you have a passion for, because passion is infectious.

So thank you, for being yourself and having your habits and using your voice.

Truly, ♥Aspiringtobesomeone

Procrastinations lost it’s fun and I’m effing breaking.

28 Oct

Yes the title is definitely a reference to Green Day’s Longview… but I swear that isn’t the point of this post…. The point is mostly Nanowrimo.


Nano09

(F.Y.I: If you click on the icon above it will link you to the nanowrimo website where you can sign up.)

I signed up for nanowrimo, yet again. Nanowrimo is National Novel Writing Month, it happens from Nov. 1st to Nov. 30th, the point being is to complete a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. Roughly 1,667 words a day.

Doesn’t sound that hard does it? It is though. At least to write a comprehensible story with a plot that makes sense. A lot of people bash on this contest because it’s ‘quantity over quality’… though I’m sure that some of the users embrace this philosophy… I write quality 100%. (However, I’ve never won… mostly because a lot of things happen in November that are preventing… family reunions, family birthdays, parties and other events).

The thing is, Nanowrimo is used as a motivator. It promotes literature, goal-making, decisiveness, and other fundamental skills that people need to learn over the length of their life… and you can learn basically any skill you will need to use in the future in this 30-day self-contest.

You make this contest what you will… it can be as serious or as flighty as you want.

Also, because Nanowrimo is part of a non-profit organization, Createspace.com is quite generously allowing the verified winners of Nanowrimo to publish a copy of their manuscript, completly bound with a custom cover and the whole bit… So you gotta say, you’d love to have your name in print… even if it is one copy… though, think about what a collectors’ item it could be after you’ve made your literary career.

If you have the money, and like this cause you should really consider donating to the Office of Letters and Light, because they bring this program to schools across the country… promoting not only writing, but reading, and literary competency.

But anyways, that aside… I have no idea what I’m doing for Nanowrmo 09, and am going to be VERY busy during the beginning of it… I’ll be staying after school and do more out of school stuff then I’ve ever have…

Good Luck to all!
Truly,
♥Aspiringtobesomeone

I’m out of my head…

13 Sep

I have no idea where I’m going in my life. As I can consider myself (at least slightly) Bohemian. There’s nothing wrong with that, in fact, in many ways that’s where I want to be. I don’t want to plan things out anymore… I don’t want to plan out my life and be disappointed when things don’t turn out the way I envisioned them.

Fact of the matter is: plans fall through. Almost anything that I’ve planned out a week in advance hasn’t happened. Anything I plan out 30 minutes prior to actually doing it, does. So why should I plan out my life? What college I’m going to, what my major is, what my profession will be, if I’m going to get married, if I’ll have kids, if I’ll be a skank who makes any lucky son of gun who gets me for a night wear a condom? There’s too many unknowns in life to plan.

I don’t know what’s going to happen in the 12 hours before I go to sleep…. We could be hit by a tornado and be homeless by then. People change their views, their opinions, their selves all based on what happens to them. I don’t know the future me, and I don’t know if that ‘me’ is going to appreciate any choices I make for her, now… I know who I want to be. So far, I just haven’t been that. So far, everything I’ve planned out seems to go to pieces. Even when it comes down to myself.

You think I wanted to grow-up to be a cynical, pessimist that is too afraid to share her opinion, because she’s afraid that when people disagree (and they will) it will start a fight… and then she’ll turn into something that she can’t control?

Naw, I wanted to be somebody that people would listen to, I wanted to be the line between right and wrong, a guiding star. I wanted to be someone that actually matters in this world.

I chose the rule of invisible myself. I chose for all the kids in my school to not even notice me, so they couldn’t get in the way of my life. I’ve also trapped myself into this role. Maybe, after graduation, I’ll move somewhere… where nobody knows me, and I can be my literal self, and maybe I’ll even go to my high school reunions, and people may not even have an idea who I am, or maybe they will, and they’ll think, ‘she’s changed.’ The fact would be, I haven’t, not one bit.

School is either chilling out now, or I’m getting used to it, whichever. Either way, it’s not as hard as it was last week. I feel better about it. However, I can feel myself blinking onto everyone’s radar. I don’t know how I feel about that. In one way I’m happy because then everyone will know what kind of person I really am.

In another way, I love being anonymous, in the crowd just enough to know what’s going on, but apart enough that I can observe without bias. I think I might be sad to know that I won’t have it again, here. People remember you, you can’t change fact, once you’re noticed, there’s no going back. You just exist. You become known, and all those little things that you used to get away with, are spread and heard and seen. There goes your anonymity, with it, your freedom. Not that it was ever that free, not that you’ll be less free with your discovery, it’s just which freedoms are important to you?

I don’t know, I’m in a philosophical mood, it might be the storm that’s coming… it might be that I haven’t worked on my book since school started… it might be that I haven’t eaten anything yet. Who knows? I still feel it’s important to go into your life… and move a few things around, see if your perspective changes with it.

I feel alone in anonymity, alone in my unplanned life… alone in all my views… singular. Like there’s only one of me. Uniqueness and Singularity are worlds apart. One, you’re in common with at least something, part of something… with Singularity, it’s just you. Sometimes that’s a good thing, sometimes it’s a bad thing.

I’m not saying I’m depressed or lonely or anything… just alone. It feels nice right now… and yet, I wish I did have a future that I believe I can just map out… like my peers…. I wish I could have that undeniable optimism that for once, things were going to go my way. I can’t.

I’ve lost my expectations to many things in life, with each major, life-changing event… I’ve lost 3, 4 sometimes… Now I have none. It’s weird to not expect anything, no loss…. yet an emptiness lingers.

If I were going to write about someone without a soul, I think that last paragraph is the closest you could get to it.

Well, good night fellas… sleep tight, plan well.
Truly,
♥Aspiringtobesomeone

Back from the dead and better for it!

4 Aug

So the past few days have been horrendously stressful compared to what was before.

There’s a really good reason. I hadn’t backed up my novel on my computer since the 13,000 word mark and the computer crashed. (which has happened to me before… the only difference being… I was only like 3,000 words into it. So I really knew to back it up…. but I didn’t it).

To be frank, I was depressed…. all those 8 months of work… when I felt like I wasn’t just wasting my life was gone. Which actually meant I did waste all that time. My Dad felt really bad about… mostly I think because I came into his room tears streaming down my face and asked him where the set-up disk was… hoping I could boot safe mode from disk.

We’ve been having an effing-crazy virus that would pop up every 20 minutes and say that we had a virus and that we needed to take care of that… I’ve found random programs that have weeded their way into our system and hunted down every single one of them and rid ourselves of them. I couldn’t find this one… my dad believes it was in the browsing history… that my younger sister didn’t even know you were supposed to clear out…

Surprisingly enough, our computer didn’t die because of viruses…. it died because the harddrive was full… and couldn’t run because of it. The harddrive was full because my family has recently started using hulu a lot. Hulu saves the entire movie to your harddrive somewhere…. my little sister had been watching the O.C. for a couple days then… I think she was on the second season when it happened… we only have a 40 GB harddrive in the laptop… which is pretty good considering that it’s like 10 years old. I was never worried about it overfilling mostly because our main computer was a 20 GB for a couple years and we had never filled it.

But anyways… the sucker would not even load up safe mode…. and I admit I cried at the lost of basically my whole novel and the 8 months wasted.

My dad, who used to fix computers as a living started in on it. I didn’t watch because I didn’t want get my hopes up or put pressure on him…. I believe he must have worked on it for at least 4 hours… the poor guy… seemed like he wasting all of his time… until linux started up. Through Linux (which will run by C.D.) we were able to access all of the files and back them up. 

My Book was an astounding 119 kb in a .txt file which my Dad said was the biggest he’d seen and was really worried that it was too big to have the computer extract it. But it worked out! The Novel is now on a flash drive and on my Dad’s other computer.

I almost think that this whole thing… thinking the book was gone for 2 days was meant to motivate me this whole time….. Can I just say that I’m so glad that I didn’t blog about this while I was in Mourning for my book?

My Dad literally is a witch doctor of computers…. he did crazy voodoo and resurrected a surly dead laptop. I had never witnessed him fixing a computer first hand… especially when it was so important to the person that wanted it fixed.

Well, I’m over and out! Good luck, Good weather and Good Day
♥Aspiringtobesomeone

Who says you can’t love everyone?

2 Aug

So, in case I’ve never told you fine people… My favorite movie is Moulin Rouge. This has nothing to do with anything really. I’ve been freakishly busy with everything that life decides to throw my way… I’ll have long periods of freedom… but I can’t get to the computer to work on stuff… so all of my time has seemed a waste lately. I love Moulin Rouge, I love Across the Universe too. Two fabulous movies.

Like Christian (in Moulin Rouge) I’m where I am (in mind anyways) because I’m an aspiring writer… (and that I’ve been having every song in it stuck in my head to the point that I’m even having Moulin-Rouge themed dreams) I want to do something! So far, I haven’t finished a book… it’s not that I’m not terribly interested in it… it’s just that after a while it feels like I’m obliged to keep writing it. It becomes a duty.

I can honestly and quite seriously say that I’m a slacker. I don’t mean to be… honest to god, but it just sort of happens. I find myself manipulating people to get out of work… when I felt fine doing it… maybe even enjoyed doing it. I don’t know why stuff like that happens… I’m perfectly content… then I come back to consciousness to find myself ruining it for me…

I don’t know…. life has been weird… I feel like I’m going nowhere… (most likely because there’s so much I want to do) and like I’m running out of time to do it. Maybe I’m just too aware of my mortality. I don’t like it.

I realized last night that I’m really skinny. Not that I thought I was fat… I just thought that I was getting to a normal weight… I’ve always had a grossly high-metabolism (I mean… at 10 years old… I ate 17 slices of pizza in one sitting… in a contest… me against my older brother… he won with 23 slices). I weighed 45 pounds until 5th grade…. and finally in 6th… I shot up and weighed 60 pounds…. by 9th grade I finally reached 100 pounds.

I’m not anorexic… if anything the opposite. I’ve always been told how skinny I was my whole life… so I tried to gain weight so people would stop bugging me. Last night I realized that I was the embodiment of petite. I’m pretty slim… (something that I’d been trying to convince myself that it was just because I wasn’t through growing…) and I’m 5’6″.

Which might not be considered really short….but it is for my family… we’ve just been getting taller in generations. My Dad is 6’1″… My mother was 5’10… My older brother has finally stopped growing at 6’6 1/2″…. My older sister is 6’1″…. I’m 5’6″… that’s probably why I was so convinced that I’d keep growing….

But anyways… I’ve always been told that I’m really skinny… even by my friends… who know I hate it. I hang out with a lot of kids who are mildly obese… unfortunately because of it…. I didn’t really trust their judgement so much… mostly because I thought I had finally gained enough to be considered average or healthy. I’m still skinny, pretty stick-skinny… but honestly, I’m happy with where I am. I’ll be happy if  I get fat too. I’m just happy now… all works out in the end.

I’ve just finshed ‘The Giver by Lois Lowry‘ and can I just say that this is a must-read? I’ve been reflecting a lot lately… and this book told me a lot of things that I think I knew…. but hadn’t acknowledged it conciously. Memories are what are required to gain wisdom… that much is obvious by the phrase, “Wisdom comes by experience.”

I also realized why people believe me to be wise. You may still recieve wisdom by second-hand knowledge… so long as the person you recieve that knowledge from fully understands what is said. That you are of the same mind, so to speak.

I’m an empathetic. I’ve always hated this ability because it hinders me from moving on with life as would a normal individual. I’m not saying that I’m not normal.. I’m just saying that I haven’t had the ability to mimic what my impression of most people are. But I realize now that it at least in some way allows me to absorb the wisdom that comes with experience… other peoples’ experience… though I’m sure I do not understand fully the experiences… I get something out of it… y’know?

You’re always hearing how important knowledge is… how knowledge can be power and the such. I’ve never really, truly understood it to the fullest. I’ve agreed with it, I’ve supported, I’ve preached it… but never have I understood the full extent of knowledge. It is important to seek knowledge and understanding because in some way it allows you not only to make your own choices wisely but it allows you to help other people in some way. I’m not saying that you should be a know-it-all or anything of the kind. It’s important to understand. Understanding is what makes emotions… what could make a memory have meaning.

Take for instance, you went to a ball game with somebody 5 years ago. You might remember nothing of that day… except that it made you appreciate hotdogs a lot more… because you didn’t eat anything that day until ‘so-and-so’ bought you a hotdog. You became grateful for hotdogs… you became meek and humble and grateful just for anything to eat. You felt relief and love towards the person who purchased it for you. Maybe you felt a small smidgeon of what a starving person feels like and it made you grateful for whoever played a part in giving you the ability to recieve the gift of satisfaction… say in the form of a hotdog… or whatever else.

It is important to share experiences… maybe an experience isn’t life-changing for you in any sense of the word… but it may be for someone else.

Every event in your life… every conversation… every book you’ve read… every commercial…. just every experience has created you… it’s built up your feelings and your regrets… your downfalls… your hopes and dreams… and of course you must feel grateful to whatever has made you the interesting combination that is you! It is important to experience, to savor, to share… because otherwise you could become inhuman… our ability to experience is the thing that turns us to individuals… to be able to cry because you are at the zoo and you feel terrible that the animals are locked up and away from the life that they could’ve had… if they were not captured or injuried… when another person might be entralled at the ability to see so many animals without ever being out of the country.. to be perfectly accepting and happy with the variaty of life.

This is the secret to happiness: experience everything and savor every feeling and take it deep within you and allow yourself to be open and change! Never fear change. Never fear adventure… never fear anything! Life is meant to be experienced… pain is meant to be side-by-side happiness…. So that you may experience the fullness of happiness and enjoyment. Love these abilities… love people for what they bring to you… for their wisdom… for their heartbreaks and for their abilities… for their happiness.

Who says you can’t love everyone? I’m beginning to see that it is possible. Mistakes only take place when someone’s judgement is clouded by arrogance, ignorance and misunderstanding. So go out there and do something! Experience others’ worlds by books or movies… or even blogs! Share your experiences through whatever medium presents itself… be it paint, internet, conversation, or service, or love.

Oh! In case any of you were wondering about my haircut…. it went fine. They didn’t do the exact cut I wanted… and I was kind of angry because they cut it into a pixie cut… but I’m over it. I love my hair. It really fits my personality and I’ve been getting mega-compliments and I think it’s more than them just pitying me because I look like a dyke like I thought I did before. But now, if anything, it looks more girly than my last cut… I’m proud of everyone and such. I feel like I’m where I should be.

Thanks for listening… may you live in experience and take pleasure in knowledge and learn the secret of happiness.
Love♥
-Aspiringtobesomeone