Unseen, Unheard, Unnoticed.

18 Aug

So as you guys well know, my posts are full of opinions… (Even if no one bothers hearing them…).

(According to Webster) Humility is the quality or state of being humble. Humble-1 : not proud or haughty : not arrogant or assertive. 2 : reflecting, expressing, or offered in a spirit of deference or submission.3 a : ranking low in a hierarchy or scale : insignificant, unpretentious. What sums humble up is unselfish, self-denying and reflective.

Humility is probably the hardest lesson you may ever learn in life. Now, I’m not claiming I’ve mastered the art of humility. But, I am saying that there can be too much. I’ve missed many opportunities or denied myself many things all in the name of humility. In doing so, I’ve become shy.

It’s hard for me to speak up in front of people, possibly because I could offend someone with a joke, opinion or even possibly a prejudice. (I’m not saying that harboring hateful feelings about a group of people is okay… it’s just that we all have them.) Mostly I think, because I’ve hidden myself almost my entire life. Because of this, people who seem to care about me… have not been allowed to know the real me. They love a mask.

I’ve been trying to rid myself of this mask for the past two years. However, it is hard to break through peoples’ expectations of your own behavior. My own best friend (whom I’ve known since I was 9 months old… )cannot correctly indentify anything about me of significance. People do not hear, they do not see this silent, inner struggle… even if I do become able to find my voice… I may have well been speaking to air. People believe their expectations and throw out the rest… it is a sad thing… but true. I’ve been one to do this.

The point is, however much you struggle to be independant or outgoing.. the people you know… will reject any progress you’ve made. They remember you while you were down… they remember you not being able to look over a counter. They remember the you, that is long gone. Who used to be, a person who is as gone from this world (if not more) as a dear friend who has passed away.

If Individuality is a real thing (and it’s hard to think otherwise) this was a person who’ll never walk the earth again. Unfortunately, your friends seem to mistake you for this long lost friend. Although, a part of that memory is embedded in you, it is simply what Robin is to Batman…. company and sometimes the sidekick. You will have things that will still exist from the person who you were… but that part of you will never be so present, so vibrant as it once was.

When people undergo large changes… within and without. People seem to think that something is wrong with you. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve flickered on someone’s radar just the needed bit to have them say, “What’s the matter? What’s wrong? Are you feeling Okay? What happened? Why are you upset?”

But anyways, realize this is a mistake… and forgive the people you know for mistaking you for this fine person. Be happy that you have changed and be patient for their metamorphosis to come. That is all that is coming today.

Practice just enough humility and patience, to enjoy yourself…
Yours Truly,
♥Aspiringtobesomeone

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